Anything But Love
by Luna.T.Lawliet
Summary: One shot about Erik with his drug addiction and a friend who refuses to let him wallow in self pity when christine. Mentions ExC. OC included. Better then it sounds... traces of darker Erik.
1. Anything But Love

_Hiya... so this is my first Phantom Of The Opera One shot and also my first ever Songfic... I know, exciting! Hope you enjoy and please, tell me what you think. _

_Song: .com/watch?v=1HQkXL0qo3A_

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><p>I looked at the man who stood a few feet away from me, heart break once again filling me as I spotted the small patch of crimson that was steadily growing. The forearm of his flowing white shirt slowly staining red from where he had injected himself with the needle. I knew that his mind would be clouded from the obvious morphine abuse. No matter how hard both me and Darago pushed, Erik refused to any sense on the matter, choosing to ignore us by claiming he was 'fine'.<p>

His dark topaz eyes, once wise and intelligent, were fogged over in confusion as he looked down at me. My broken body was curled up, hiding in the darkness of the endless night that swallowed the catacombs beneath the opera house that I once worked and called my home.

_**Bound to your side and trapped in silence  
>Just a possession<br>Is this sex or only violence  
>That feeds your obsession<strong>_

I used to loved that place beyond all reason. The beautiful underground home where I always felt welcome and safe. The place which created such amazing music that could make grown men weep in sadness when it eventually drew itself to a dramatic end. The music of the night that wasn't tainted by the warm promises of light. Within that music, I had discovered myself a friend in a person whose appearance had managed to scare away all those who weren't strong enough to look past the deformity to spot the lonely man underneath. A great lose to the people who couldn't bring themselves to befriend the ghost which found great joy in terrorising those who shunned him all his life.

Madame Giry had warned me against our growing friendship. She had begged me to leave Erik alone so I wouldn't be hurt by him but I couldn't pull myself away from him. He had captured my heart without even trying and so I found myself bound to the musical genius... never to be freed from his spell. I knew that deep down inside myself, in a part of my mind I tried to ignore for good reason, I had managed to fall in love with his dark and tormented soul. The soul of a man who had forever lived in the shadows.

But then, he changed. So suddenly that neither me or Nadir could see what was to be come of our mutual friend.

He had changed when Christine Daae, the young soprano, rejected his affections. When she rejected everything that made him who he was. Erik then used his emotional turmoil as a justified excuse to over indulge himself in the one habit that threatened to take him away from me every time he felt his heart break even though I felt it every time I gazed upon him. As a result of the morphine and heroine, he would be confused but when he came out of it, he tended to lash out at the closest thing. me.

He pushed me and pushed me, like he was trying to get rid of me so he could wallow in his self pity but I just couldn't. I loved him. I loved him even when he confused me for his Christine and used my body to fulfil some of his deepest and most intimate fantasies. No, I still didn't leave and return to the world above his dungeon. Instead, I did whatever he asked of me because of one simple fact... it had fallen from his lips.

Yet, when he came out of his drugged delusions and saw me in his bed, the innocent confusion was replaced by unbridled fury.

His phantom side came out to yell at me, accusing me of using him when he was vulnerable so I could boast about bedding the monster. No matter how much I tried to tell him I didn't, no matter how desperately I wanted to tell him that I was in love with him and wouldn't leave, I couldn't soothe his anger. His hits would rain down on me, causing pain so intense that after a while, I would go numb. My vision would slowly begin to fade until I was able to retreat into my mind. To go into the darkest corner of my mind and slowly try to repair the heart I had given him. Sometimes, I question it's durability.

_**You send me to a broken state  
>Where I can take the pain just long enough<br>Then I am numb **_

_**Then I just disappear**_

_**So go on infect me  
>Go on and scare me to death<br>Tell me I asked for it  
>Tell me I'll never forget<br>You could give me anything but love  
>Anything but love<strong>_

_**Stripped down to my naked core  
>The darkest corners of my mind are yours<br>That's where you live  
>That's where you breathe<strong>_

" Christine?... what are you doing down there my angel?" He murmured softly as a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. I watched him carefully as he moved closer to me. When he was finally close enough, he pulled me up into his arms and held my waist tenderly. Despite the pain I felt from a few hours previous, my heart began to race when he dropped a kiss to the top of my head.

" I love you Christine... You know that don't you? Know that Erik will always look after you because you're mine and Erik always takes care of what's his... you never forget that angel. Never." I could feel his heart beat speed up a little beneath my cheek as he rambled on. While his heart raced, my slowly began to break once more when her name dropped from his lips. It was never my name he worshipped. No, he would spit it like it was a curse word or something dirty. Like it didn't deserve his breath.

"Of course I know that my love... always". Sighing to myself, I felt him smile against my neck as he nuzzled his nose where my shoulder met it. A silent tear moved down my cheek as my heart gave a painful squeeze. It wasn't me he loved. He could give me anything but what I craved the most. If only he could love me like I loved him... who else would take everything he gave me? Not even Christine could. She would run to her Raoul when the first chance presented itself.

_**Without any faith  
>Without any light<br>Condemn me to live  
>Condemn me to lie<br>Inside I am dead**_

_**So go on fight me  
>Go on and scare me to death<br>I'll be the victim  
>You'll be the voice in my head<br>You could give me anything but love  
>Anything but love<strong>_

His hand crept up and picked up a loose curl, playing with it gently before leading me over to the bed. Slowly, he laid me down then covered my mouth with his. The love, the passion and the intense devotion seeped through from both side though the feeling wasn't mutual. He wasn't kissing me, his friend. No. He was kissing the harpy in his head. The one who would always hold his heart, no matter how hard I tried to pry her fingers away.

My eyes stung in realisation so I closed them tight, allowing him to take control of me but unlike earlier, he pulled away and held me against his chest once more. From where I rested, I could see his eye lids grow heavier with every breath he took. It wasn't long before it evened out and sleep took over. When I was sure I wouldn't be heard, I moved to the end of the bed and wept openly from my place.

I couldn't tell you how long it was because Nadir came, rushing over to my side when he spotted me. I accepted his warm embrace, allowing the tears to flow down my cheeks and soak into his shirt.

" Did it happen again?" he asked when I calmed down slightly. All I could do was nod in answer to his question in fear my voice would break.

" Why not leave?"

" Be-because... he can give me anything but love... a-and sometimes, t-that has t-to be e-enough".

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><p>Please Rate and Review!<p> 


	2. Imaginary

**_Okay... I know that i said 'anything but love' is a one shot and it is but my friend read it and told me that Luna should get what she wants. When I refused to allow her that luxury, she some how persuaded me to write something about before he beat her. This is it. _**

**_Dedication: This is dedicated to RedDeathLvr and phantomess300 for their reviews and kind comments. _**

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><p>The long corridor was bathed in shadows that not even the dozens of lit lamps could banish. Walking down it, I couldn't even see my bare feet passing against the floor or anything a couple of inches in front of my face. Instantly, I was glad that I had bothered to learn my way down to his home beneath the impressive opera house. Usually, he would have taken me down there is I had so wished but lately, he had been spending a lot more time with Christine. Personally, I couldn't see anything appealing about the young soprano but then again, it was Erik I was speaking about.<p>

Whenever he moved, the grace he possessed made me fairly suspicious. Constantly, I found myself wondering if he could hear some kind of music while the rest of us remained deaf to it's pure brilliance. The darkness he surrounded himself in every day and night, could he see something in it while we all remained blind against it's extraordinary beauty?

Something about that man raised questions inside of me but I always tried to forget about them because I wouldn't allow myself to dwell on them. When he felt he was ready and that I had managed to earn his trust, he would part with his secrets and all of them would fall on very eager ears.

It wasn't long until I had finally managed to reach the doorway to his underworld heaven. My eyes hungrily took in every tiny little detail of his kingdom, silently admiring the architecture thought I had gazed upon it's beauty plenty of times yet each one seemed like the very first. It never once failed to squeeze the air out of my lungs, determined to steal it over and over again.

" Luna..." his warm voice purred, nothing more then a gentle whisper in my eat but I wasn't as naive as I first appeared to be. I knew very well that he wouldn't be standing beside me. It was was one of his favourite tricks, throwing his voice around the room in an attempt to catch me out but I knew him better then anyone else in the opera house... okay, maybe with the exception of Darago but he was more like a brother to the masked man where as I filled the close friend position. No matter how much I wanted him to drop his 'angel' into the fiery pits of hell and realise that I would always love him beyond all reason.

_**I linger in the doorway**_  
><em><strong>Of alarm clock screaming<strong>_  
><em><strong>Monsters calling my name<strong>_  
><em><strong>Let me stay<strong>_  
><em><strong>Where the wind will whisper to me<strong>_  
><em><strong>Where the raindrops, as they're falling, tell a story<strong>_

" Erik, we both know that I'm not falling for one of your little games now reveal yourself this moment Monsieur or I will not be held accountable for my actions". I warned, my eyes darting around the place, searching for a glimpse of his smooth porcelain mask or the crimson velvet of his long flowing cloak. Finally, after what seemed like hours but probably was no more then a few mere minutes, he materialized from the shadows like the opera ghost he claimed to be.

His strong deep chuckle filled the room, bouncing off of the walls so it sounded like I was surrounded by him. It reminded me of the first time I had ventured down there all alone, managing to trap myself in the torture chamber filled with brass trees and then seeing his image 20 times in spinning mirrors. That same laughter filled the room though it came out as a cackle, scaring me half to death but I tried to keep calm and in return, he had rewarded me with my life. Ever since then, I made sure to visit him as often as I could.

_**In my field of paper flowers**_  
><em><strong>And candy clouds of lullaby<strong>_  
><em><strong>I lie inside myself for hours<strong>_  
><em><strong>And watch my purple sky fly over me<strong>_

_**Don't say I'm out of touch**_  
><em><strong>With this rampant chaos - your reality<strong>_  
><em><strong>I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge<strong>_  
><em><strong>The nightmare I built my own world to escape<strong>_

" What brings the little ballet rat to my personal hell when Paris is graced with such a fine evening?" He murmured, his voice smooth like the expensive silks he delighted in wearing as an obvious sign of his enjoyment when it comes to indulging himself. Huffing in fake frustration, I shook my head at him. Ever since the day in the chamber, I no longer feared him.

" What brings the little ballet rat to my personal hell when Paris is graced with such a fine evening?" he murmured, his voice smooth like the expensive silks he delighted in wearing as an obvious sign of his enjoyment when it comes to indulging himself. Huffing in fake frustration, I shook my head at him. Ever since that day in the chamber, I no longer feared the idiotic

" It's a finer evening down her my dear Phantom but nothing of the sort up there. Haven't you yet heard of the things that are going on in that place? A monster's been creeping amongst the hallways of your opera house, taking women whom wonder alone when they are least expecting it". I explained, shuddering slightly at the simple thought of it. Walking down here had proved to be one of the most frightening experiences. Scared of Erik? Not any more. Scared of this unknown man? More then I thought possible when it came to someone I knew nothing about.

Once again, that chuckle reached my ears but I willed my body to ignore it. Willed it not to react to the silkiness and richness of it. What I had just shared with the masked man wasn't funny in the slightest.

" A monster whom wonders the corridors mademoiselle? Are you mistaken? You stand before one at this moment yet you don't shudder or weep but instead, keep returning to me". Moving closer, I could see his eyes glow in the darkness and the flames flickering in their honey coloured depths. Glaring at him lightly, I brushed past him and walked towards the lake before perching myself on the side with my feet dangling into the cool water. Without looking up, I could hear his boots approaching me until I felt him brush against my arm. Moving my head slightly, I could see him sat beside me with his legs crossed.

" I'm sorry ma petite Cherie. I didn't mean to upset you yet tonight, you're in the company of someone who could kill you without a second thought. I fail to see what frightens you so".

" And I fail to see how you find this amusing! You don't hurt those who don't deserve it but up there, he's stalking innocent workers Erik!" I cried in distress, throwing my hands up in the air while narrowly missing his head. His fingers were gentle but firm when he took hold of my jaw and moved it so I was looking directly into his eyes.

" I'm sorry ma petite. Forgive me?" he murmured and with a click of his fingers, a black rose made of delicate paper appeared between his fingers, a blood red ribbon tied near the head. Smiling slightly, I took the offered rose in my hand, gently fingering the soft petals. I knew that it was his way of offering me an apology but it still made my heart skip a few beats. It had to mean something that he only ever gave me ebony roses right?

_**Don't say I'm out of touch**_  
><em><strong>With this rampant chaos - your reality<strong>_  
><em><strong>I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge<strong>_  
><em><strong>The nightmare I built my own world to escape<strong>_

" Of course I forgive you Erik. I-I'm just... not used to the way you look at everything.".

" Luna, you misunderstand me. I can see why you're scared but you spend most of your free time down here with me. In comparison, there is nothing for you to fear.". He explained, taking my free hand and pressing his lips to the back before flashing me a heart fluttering grin.

" Erik..." I murmured, my voice slightly breathless but he simply put a finger on my lips.

" It's time for you to return ma petite Cherie.". With a nod, I left the safe lake house and began to make my way back up to the opera house where things definitely went bump in the night.

As I walked down the gravely silent corridors, not wanting to get caught by one of the singers who were practising late or stage hands passed out drunk. It didn't take long for me to get close to my room but as I walked, something suddenly took hold of me then slammed me against the wall. Whipping around, I tried to see who it was but with a strike to my left cheek with the back of his hand, I was blinded by pain. One hand clamped over my mouth, the other slowly touching me in places a man shouldn't unless he owned my hand but I couldn't seem to move. My body wads frozen with shock, like someone had dumped ice water over my head and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't push him away. Clamping my eyes shut, I felt something cool placed against my neck and instantly recognised it as a knife.

_**Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming**_  
><em><strong>Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights<strong>_  
><em><strong>Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming<strong>_  
><em><strong>The goddess of imaginary light<strong>_

" Now don't scream lovely..." a gruff voice muttered into my ear before dragging his tongue along the shell of it. Grimacing, I shuddered in disgust but did as he asked of me. Pressing himself against me, tears leaked from my eyes and dampening the walls. Mentally, I prepared myself for all the disapproving looks from everyone in the opera house. What man would want a women who was spoiled? Bad goods? Deflowered?

Suddenly, I felt something hit the back of my head before a painfully throbbing took place and then nothing. Just darkness.

" Luna... come on ma petite Cherie. Please, wake up." groaning, I managed to pull my eyes open to see a worried looking phantom leaning over me.

"Erik..." I murmured but he shushed me gently then lifted my head into his lap so he could put a glass to my lips. Trusting him completely, I allowed the cooling liquid to run down my throat.

" I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. If I did then... but never mind now. The problem is not longer such and the opera house can breathe a sigh of relief.". Looking up at him, my heart seemed to beat a lot faster when our eyes met.

We spoke for a while but then his grand clock announced midnight and he moved from his bed.

" I want you to stay here and rest until I come back." he told me with a small smile before pulling the crimson velvet over my body so I was slightly warmer.

" where are you going?" I asked, my voice wavering a little. I'll admit that I was a little scared, even though I knew that no one would be able to hurt me.

" I'm just going to cancel Christine's singing lesson_". _


End file.
